Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
