i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
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sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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