Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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