oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
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Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
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