omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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