So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It's never too late to be topless.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
