you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
what is it with giant penises always finding me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
