I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
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