Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
