I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
