Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
