well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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