i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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