SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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