I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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