problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
