I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
