a queef is a wish your heart makes.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
