I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
