Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
