All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
