honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
