I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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