so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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