Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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