have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
