Where are you?
In a non slutty way
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
