yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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