her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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