So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
My breasts were aching with rage.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
