in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
