some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize