I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
only you would photoshop your dick
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
