Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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