I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
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My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
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I just got carded by a ten year old.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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