So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
