You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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