I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Randomize
