whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Drake has all the answers
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
