Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
