he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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