She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
