hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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