The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
