I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
