when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
