Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
