The maid of honor just puked.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
