Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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