Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
