That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
