The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
