I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize