I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
