oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
