You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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