he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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