I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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